It’s nothing new, these practices have been around since the dawn of mankind I am very sure. However, in our digital and viral society today full of picture perfect fairytale images, videos and unabashed voices there seems to be an explosion of humans who are judging themselves (and others) more than ever before. Thankfully, there are also many of us who are willing to educate and inspire our fellow humans on self love, self acceptance and self investment. But still- how do we STOP those negative voices and thoughts when they arise and how do we create space for relationships with others that foster radical acceptance instead?
It all starts and ends with YOU.
I am not immune to this negative behavior and being a 50-year-old female, who has been in health and fitness for a long time, I have drug around plenty of dysfunctional baggage. Growing up fluffy and funky then becoming just average yet spunky, I have spent many a day rejecting my body. Like most, I have my inner demons, and tend to use the term ‘my evil twin’ when describing this negative self talk cycle. For those of you new to my blog story – I’m an excouch potato who turned from train wreck to IronWOman then Ultra Woman in my early thirties. In all my glory, I am a survivor of a messy childhood, bad relationships, auto immune disease, depression, injury and way too many career and life crises to keep count. Can you relate? Throughout this gloriously challenging life of mine I have had to drag myself out of the dark dirty pits over and over, in relentless pursuit of the sun topped mountains that somehow always seem to pull me up higher. So why after all these years do I (and my fellow band of badass babe friends) still fall prey into the body shaming and blaming whispers? What is it about our old stories and self abusive habits that no matter how much CRUSHINGIT we are actually up to- we still can get sucked into our evil twin’s judgement? Why do we listen and believe her negative whispers about how our body is not good enough or how it is our own fault that we will never be beautiful? WTF!?
Well I have decided that enough is enough and that you and everyone I know must STOP this behavior right now if we are to ever become fully whole and liberated into our best body and life. I am sure we can all agree that this world is hard enough and the last thing any of us need is to turn against ourselves right? What I have learned to do and have added to my own daily self investment practice is to REFRAME these thoughts and habits. Additionally, I am creating more awareness with the people, in my conversations and at the places I go everyday to ensure that this negative body shaming and body blaming is not fostered or even tolerated anymore. Here is how to stop and REFRAME:
1. When you catch yourself (and by you I mean your evil twin) staring back at you in the mirror with disparagement and judgment on how you look or how your clothes fit today you will STOP, close your eyes and take a deep breathe. You will then turn away from the mirror and instead ask yourself (your good twin) “how do these clothes FEEL on me today?” If the real answer is that they do not make you FEEL GOOD then yes, change your clothes into what does and fast. The reason that how you FEEL in your clothes is important vs. how you look is not is this simple… if you FEEL powerful, healthy, feel smart, loving then that is your best self moving out into the world that day and no one else. If we pick things to put on that make us FEEL good then we will FEEL GOOD. If we do the opposite, then the opposite (I don’t feel good so I must not look good. I don’t look good and so I don’t feel good) is true all damn day! Do not let your evil twin dress you.
*This is why I LIVE in lululemon leggings, sporty running shoes and apply Glossier lip balm dotcom three times a day;)#feelgoodinyourownskin
2. When you are doing something that invests in your health and fitness but you experience yourself (that evil twin version of you) thinking or saying “I look ridiculous, weak, I am slow, lame, fill in the negative blank here” you must STOP, close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Then instead, after 30 seconds when you open your eyes, you will say loud and clear to yourself or the world the complete opposite of the message you released such as “Damn Girl- you are strong, fast, sexy, healthy, ect.” The reason that you must say the opposite of your body shame and blame message is because you have got to reprogram every cell in your body to accept the TRUTH about you and to reject the lies your evil twin spits on you. If we tell ourself that we are making progress in our health & fitness investment process than we will not give up and in fact will work harder to manifest those results we deserve. #selfinvest
*This is why last week at Hot Power Yoga, when I was upside down and saw how gravity was not kind to my saggy skin and flabby body parts, I reframed my negative judgment into the liberating thought “DAMN GURLLLL you are STRONG as hell balancing your graceful body in this crazy ass crow pose!”
3. When you say or think something judgmental about another human being (yes this too can be the evil twin in bitch mode and not the real you) then STOP, close your eyes and breathe deep. Ok, the person or people around you may think you have lost your mind, but in fact you have simply recovered your reality mindset. Then you need to say or think one positive thing that you know to be true about that person such as “Suzie has rad hair” or “Dad sure knows how to make a mean BBQ” or “Our Boss really does set us up for reaching big goals as a team.” The reason you need to reframe your negative judgment towards others is that it is toxic. The Law of Attraction is an energy theory and honey- that shit is LEGIT. It means that if you put out negative vibes and nasty attitude to those around you (this goes for complaining to your friends as well) then that sticky stinky crap will get flung right back at ya! No one, you included, deserves to be judged. No one who is having a hard time or in a funk junk needs any more BS or fire pits to jump through. #bethechange
*This is why I am constantly reminded NOT to get an attitude towards people who make my job or life harder. If I convince myself they are popping on my door step then every where I step seems to be fresh piles of more poop. And if I cast a judgement upon someone in terms of how they look or act, I quickly realize that it is actually me not acting or feeling ‘on top of my own game.’ #dountoothers
In closing I want to invite you to REFRAME your self talk. I further invite you to GO LOVE YOURSELF, no really. I mean this. I love you and so do many many other fellow humans. Why not you too? Then feel free to connect and share your own thoughts or suggest on this or any topic you’d like me to explore. Remember, Human Connection is my number one value and you can find me anytime….. FACEBOOK | IM @Samantha Pruitt | EMAIL